To start out the new year, Kelly our fearless (Charming Girls and Guys) leader has asked us to chose a word that will guide us through 2011 (and perhaps beyond). I have thought about all the wonderful words out there that might be a good fit for me- especially as many days life continues to spin out of control . "Control"- would that work? I just didn't think that was what I was going for as far as an anchor to keep me grounded this coming year. Many things in life are very hard, if not impossible to "control". In fact the more I thought about it, the word control took on more negative aspects for me than positives. After much thought I have decided that my word for 2011 will be RECONNECT:
• v. [tr.] connect back together: surgeons had to reconnect tendons, nerves, and veins. ∎ [intr.] reestablish a bond of communication or emotion
Now there are days I feel as if the transitive verb fits well- my nerves could use a good reconnection, but what I am looking to do is the intransitive. Over the past year I've let a lot of connections fall by the wayside. I've lost part of the strong connections I've always felt to myself and my family. I've lost the connection with friends that keep me grounded, I've lost the emotional connection with new ventures- and just gave up on many things I've planned or hoped to accomplish. All of that was put on the back burner as time became a commodity. Sadly, I also felt I lost the connection I've always had with my quilting. I found it a chore. It was work, literally, and thus much of the joy of creating was taken away. There was always something to "produce", to think about for the next month, the next season...things that I wasn't 100% connected to but forced myself to complete.
Toward the end of 2010, some of the old happiness was sneaking back into what I was doing. I accomplished a few things that didn't have to be hyped, packaged, sold... it was a feeling of reconnecting with something I love and it felt good. No! It felt GREAT!!
So, this year, I will make a conscious effort to do more reconnecting with myself- stop hiding feelings and emotions I should acknowledge. I will make a more conscious effort to reconnect to family. It is not that I've turned away from family, mind you, but many days I have gone through the motions rather than feel a part of the family picture. I will reconnect with those special girls (you know who you are!) who keep me grounded, and not find excuses as to why I can't spend time with them at least once a month sewing, laughing, sharing secrets and stories and opinions. I need to reconnect with several long time friends who I know are just as crazed and as busy as I am. If I just sit around waiting for them to connect with me, that is more time wasted waiting. I have to make the move instead of making excuses.
I would like to reconnect with several groups I've let fall by the wayside and remind myself that I CAN spend the time to contribute once again without guilt. I'd like to reconnect with all of you who may be reading this blog by posting more! Most of all, on those days when all I want to do is let out a primal scream, I think I might just do that- it could be a good way to reconnect my nerves to the rest of my body...and then move on!
As far as definitions go, my word might be a stretch, but RECONNECT surely seems like the word that fits, and will bring more of the Good Things back into my daily life.